Silence is Golden

I have truly found a way to have an enjoyable Shabbos!! Silence!! I was told that years ago by very bright people. But, I didn't listen or I was too young to listen. I wanted companionship. I had this crazy idea that we would meld together and become friends. I worked very hard on that concept.

I read a book for my Meditation class called THE ART OF LOVE. I now understand that we were really not meant to be despite all my plugging away at it. I have also come to terms with my successes and failures. The biggest success of my life is work. Perhaps that is what I always wanted, but society said, marry and have children. I did. These were my biggest failures. But, after reading the book, I came to terms with it.

It was very easy to be quiet today. I really had nothing to say since I had worked all this out and I was able to enjoy everything about the day. I no longer feel depressed or upset.

I'm just proud of my successes.

Later That Evening!!!!

After annoying me for an entire year because I didn't go to the Hamptons (perhaps his meds, looks, diet and exercise for CHF could have been the reason coupled with I knew it) we finally had a beautiful Easter Sunday or the intermediate days of Passover. Did we go?? I'm sure that even an idiot would know the answer. He claimed that his arm hurt and that he had a cold, yet, he was willing to put the screens in the windows.

How did I handle this?? Very quietly. I said that he should make the decision and when he did, I didn't react at all. That dance that we used to do is gone, where I would beg and cry to go. He isn't used to the new me, but, I find it beyond relaxing. I cleaned 4 closets and am almost ready for summer.

It goes to show you what you learn from yoga and meditation.

The Value of Meditation and Yoga

Thanks to both yoga and meditation, I was so able to cope with the Passover holidays. I live in the present and I'm not responsible for anyone, but myself. When my older daughter told me that she wouldn't be on time for the first seder, my response was that we would start without her. Needless to say that she got there on time. When the younger one ate chamatz in my house (Extra Chocolate Mint gum),I didn't acknowledge it. There is an Almighty in heaven. They will deal wit Him, not me at this point in their lives.

As far as he goes, he tried to tell me that he hates the holiday. I love it and at that point, I chose to be quiet, relying on chores to fill the void.

I'm not the same needy person with the Disneyland fantasies that I was last year. I practice Yoga twice a week in a studio. I practice meditation in two different classes. I read, walk, attend book clubs and attend services. I also work full-time.

I'm proud of myself. To celebrate this, I have purchased an OM which I will wear to work proudly on Wednesday when I go back to work.