I Almost Got Myself Screwed

Dear Forward:

Tonight at dinner, and I can't even tell you how this came up, but the husband told me that his brother and the wife came every weekend to visit him. I felt rage in my throat as I realized that it was the hospital that the brother had chosen, the one I couldn't get to. I was just about to make a comment, but then I didn't and I chose to write to you. Nothing really changed, EXCEPT ME!!! I don't give a damn and chose not to ruin my night by saying a word. So far, I've done quite well. It was tough all week, but, I kept to my schedule and that made it all worthwhile. I also know that on Monday I will be back at work and that's why I scheduled activities all week.

VACATION!!!!!

Dear Forward,

This vacation needs to be structured if I want to have a good time. I have promised myself not to engage in any conversation that is not global.I have many different strategies so I will not get caught. I'm not going to think about the past and the people who tried to destroy my life. I have survived what they did thanks to God's help. I scheduled some nice things for myself too such as a manicure/pedicure, book club discussions, playing mah jong and a yoga lesson. I'm even getting a Brazilian treatment for my hair. If I mess up, it will be my fault!!!!

Coping on Saturdays

Dear Forward,

The husband who ignored you on Wednesday, remember, now wants to be your best friend on Saturday. You have always been an outspoken person and would love to say, "leave me the hell alone", after the way he tried to destroy your life. But, that would ruin Saturday. It remains to be seen what you will do.

LATER!

We are now in evening. The solution has many parts. I need to have a structured day with many things to do. I did. I said my prayers, I read two newspapers (THE TIMES and NY NEWSDAY) while I ate breakfast. Then I turned on the heat in the den and finished a book for my next book club. I also practiced Yoga and did a Meditation. Then I took a shower. If I had to talk, which was rare, I discussed what I was doing. He's not a bright man and couldn't care less what I was doing. Very early in the game, I won!!!!!

Tonight we are going to see Blue Valentine, the story of a marriage that falls apart. It too will become a global conversation.

That's how one does Saturday. It was a good Shabbos. I feel very rested!!!!

I should tell you that the older one called and will speak with me tomorrow. Who knows when my tomorrow is!!!!

NUT CASES HANDLED THIS WEEK!!!!

Dear Forward,

I think that I handled myself quite well this week considering the people that I have to deal with. I imagine that everyone has these kinds of problems with family and I am congratulating myself upon developing a series of strategies to deal with these people.

I have decided that I will speak to my older daughter ONLY during weekdays in twitter like conversations. That way, I do not have to hear about freezing her eggs, her lack of Judiasm, her disrespect for me when I have a problem or her Iraqi boyfriend. So far, it's working. Her father and she have much in common, as they are both excellent at lying. It's his turn to speak to them anyway as I had many years of grief. It works because he has CHF and they feel sorry for him.

The younger one is totally nuts. I called her yesterday. She answered the phone, didn't say, "hello", but proceeded to continue a conversation with someone else. I held the phone for 9 minutes and then said, "hello" again. She hung up. So much for speaking to her over the weekend. However, she did call on Friday. I avoided the call by letting her speak to her father.

My husband wants me to retire and buy a condo. I had a snow day this week. He was supposed to clean the house. He wanted to clean again. He promised to do it my way. Except, on this day, he didn't Windex the bathroom walls, (they should be done once a week) because they were clean. Because I wanted to take the job away from him, which I did, he sneered at me all day. For a normal person, this could be torture. But, I structured the day by cleaning, doing laundry, changing sheets, using the computer, taking pictures, loading photos of the weather on I-Photo, reading, practicing yoga and meditation.

Happily I went to work the next day. From my office, I could tell him what a "shit" (I didn't use this term) he was and to forget about the condo or the retirement. I would have to be crazy to do either. Smaller quarters with him???? Nuts!! Retirement??? With him??? Nuts! Of course now, he is in his phony mode and he hopes I will fall for it.

Did I tell you about the truck accident this week?? Thank goodness that it was his fault, not mine!!!!

Then the most amazing thing happened. The mail came and in it was a prescription for Viagra!!! It would totally amaze you to know that we haven't had relations since I was 41 because he didn't like to and I quote, "touch my body down there." I told him that if this was the case, we could forget sex. We did, for 22 years! Why now, you ask? His cardiologist said that it would be good for him. I did very well with this too. I didn't answer!!!!